Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Weakly Report - 11 Aug 2011

Riots in the UK, SA’s most wanted criminal walks out of jail free, US owing $57000 per person and Peter is ready to “goi it on Australia this Saturday – it’s time for the Weakly Report!

Women’s Day was celebrated with week with the usual pomp and splendour. Our prezzie JZ came out saying that we as a country can do more in uplifting the cause of this celebration. Hmmm how many more wives does he want? Is he secretly in competition with his neighbour King Mswati III (see last week’s blog)? One has to wonder...

The Queen’s tea party was recently cancelled because the bloke she buys her sugar free sugar from had his shop looted in recent riots which took place in the UK. Appalling – and so UNBRITISH like!!! Who would have guessed that the very country which invaded so many others in history is now being destroyed by the very own people from within!!! “I say ol chap – might that be our forlorn Karma?

More than 24 hours after most wanted criminal Bongani Moyo escaped from custody, police appeared no closer to re-arresting him. Authorities say that he will probably lay low for a while and not make a dash for the border. Then a police spokesperson is quoted as saying “it will not be long before the Zimbabwean, who is linked to at least 35 bank robberies, picks up a gun again” – correct me if I am wrong but that tells me if they cannot find him they will wait until he commits another robbery/ murder and investigate from there? It sounds like Moyo is playing the SAP like a yo-yo :)

Clem Sunter put it admirably when he explained the debt crisis in the US – “There are nearly 32 million seconds in a year which translates into 32 billion seconds in 1 000 years and 32 trillion seconds in a billion years. Assuming no interest on the debt, to pay off the projected US debt at $1 a second or $32m a year – which would stretch the pocket of even Bill Gates – would take a period of 17 trillion seconds which is roughly 531 000 years

Lets see now –

Ø Space program = $450 billion (it has recently been pulled)

Ø Waging war = $100 billion

Ø Financial Aid = $500 billion

Quick give Marty a call and ask him to do that BACK TO THE FUTURE thing again and make the zeros go away... Do it – go back 531 000 years or to the future, in the year: 533 011 (2011 + 531K)

And make sure tell them to say “Ask not what your country can do for you but how much you can loan to your country?”

Okay – now I’ve had it!!!! The latest is this - Those who earn above a certain income will be required by law, with no exceptions, to contribute towards the National Health Insurance (NHI) scheme once it starts up, Health Minister Aaron Motsoaledi said earlier today.

NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Ha ha ha – what a joke!!! I would like to see all the tenderpreneurs pay towards that from their ill gotten gains. And what does this do for those who are earning top dollar? Well its simple – be a little more creative in declaring your income and voila!!! You are now under the “certain income group” threshold!

As for you and me – well us poor sods will have to pay for next month’s fuel increase, food price increases, school fees and toll fees which has been this week been approved by cabinet.... e-toll!

Peace...

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