29 July Weekly Roundup

BEWARE - TIGER ON THE LOOSE/ PROWL

With its heritage shared with the big cat family, the tiger is far from being regarded as the King of the Jungle - but in this week, South Africans found that the tiger may very well be Boss of the Road!!! The tiger may not share the prominence of the lion, panther or leopard in movies but the aura and mystery surrounding this beautiful creature has long enthralled us humans!

Well that was only until a certain South African politician became known as the Bengal Tiger took away the mystique... While a tiger cannot loose its stripes - this tiger has lost his hair. And while this tiger will always provide you with a plate of breyani after his political rally, this was not the case with Panjo- the tiger which went on the loose earlier this week...

Its a case of a goose owning a tiger- Goosey Fernandes, owner of Panjo was ecstatic when his pet was found on Wednesday night! And we thought that only the likes of Michael Jackson could own such exotic pets...

Meanwhile - Mnet sent out a camera crew to shoot the big cat in a new 2010 version of Tigger and Pooh, a spokesperson for the channel said that they had already got enough footage of Pooh when they brought us coverage of the Springboks perfomance thus far in the Tri Nations rugby!

ANCYL leader Julius Malema, earlier this week allayed fears that there is an imminent split within his organisation. He went on to say, "As soon as we work out whether the tiger has black stripes or orange stripes we will have everything back to normal". Although he did admit that - "We are going to call for an inquiry committee to be set up to tell us why the tiger is not Black and White... and yes, we are going to test the race of the animal and we will also administer a gender test on the cat"

Brett Kebble wanted to die so badly that he waited for his killer to return three times with a loaded gun according to the murderer, boxer Michael Schultz, who has turned state witness. Why not just off himself by himself? Did he really ask for somebody to pull the trigger... so many times? That's pretty much where the defense is taking this case...

The Johannesburg Stock Exchange has for the second time in one month delayed a start in trading due to what they call 'technical glitches'- We proposed a name change for the JSE - Johannesburg Stop Exchange - and in the spirit of all things South African, the entitlement mentality means that Dr. Mike Sutcliffe wants to take ownership of that proposed name change!

The sardines are here and so is the Durban July - this year there is a horse called Goat! The ruling party and Dr. Sutcliffe claim to have no responsibility in naming that poor animal - and for that matter no current state head claims fathering Goat either!

The Reitz 4 will not end up going to prison for what they did in 2007 as their young psychotic minds are in readiness to enter parliament and forget about the World Cup legacy of this year - 2010 will be remembered for the number of air disasters which have taken place...

Enjoy the races and if you find any round stones at Greyville race course this weekend - chances are its what the goat leaves behind from its behind!!!

Peace!